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I love great advertising!

A little known fact about me:

I did indeed take accordion lessons as a child. It’s completely true. And so for this very reason, I’m a bit in love with this great ad for Sam Ash.

A little known fact about me:

I did indeed take accordion lessons as a child. It’s completely true. And so for this very reason, I’m a bit in love with this great ad for Sam Ash.

Book Commentary: “Left Neglected” by Lisa Genova

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“Live life to the fullest.”

“Live each day like it’s your last.”

“Live well. Laugh often. Live much.”

We’ve all heard these sayings and have seen them circulated on those inspirational quote websites. Hopefully, many of us try to follow them every day as we go on about our daily lives.

Then, for a few of us, it happens.

Something will inevitably happen to remind us how precious life is. Like a diagnosis of a terminal illness. Or a funeral. Or in Sarah Nickerson’s case, a car accident that results in brain damage, preventing her from (in her opinion) functioning like a normal human being.

As a high powered Vice-President of HR at a major consulting firm, Ms. Nickerson seemed to have it all: a great home in an upper-class neighbourhood, a supportive husband, 3 wonderful kids, and thriving career. Life for her was fast-paced, busy, yet she seemed very happy to have accomplished everything she had set her mind to.

Then in the blink of an eye, her life changed.

A car accident that damaged part of her brain, which resulted in what’s called “Left Neglect”. An actual condition, Left Neglect made everything in the world on Sarah’s left side (of her body) completely invisible. The story continues with her struggle to cope and adapt to her condition. Her sheer determination to readjust and re-train her brain and body is very admirable.

I read this book because I very much enjoyed Lisa Genova’s first book, Still Alice. The story of Left Neglected is just as compelling as Ms. Genova’s debut novel, and reminds us as readers just how precious life is, and how we can sometimes take life for granted.

We all know this, yet let’s say it again:

Let’s all live life to the fullest and be thankful for all we have. It can all be taken away in the blink of an eye.

We need reminders of this every once in a while – and this book does just that.

Excuse me while I go hug my children and tell them how much I love them. 🙂

A minor (major) setback

The past few weeks have been rather interesting.

As you know, my latest challenge has been trying to figure out the “numbers” side of my business – the Accounting, payroll, taxes, commissions, fees, salary grades….it’s been a bit of a challenge. A big challenge, actually. But, I’m working on it.

On the personal side, my family underwent a major change – my husband left his corporate job. We knew it was going to happen eventually, and we (thought we) were prepared. Jeremy joined a friend of his, David, to start up their own company – a brand new project that the two of them have been talking about for a while now. As you know, Jeremy has extensive experience in start-ups, in fact, he and David have worked together before and successfully started a company that is still thriving.

In between jobs, he had 2 weeks off. Having him at home for 2 weeks was a change in itself. It was nice to have dinner made almost every night (he’s an amazing cook), and the boys were thrilled to have him home. Jeremy barely knew what to do with himself, as he has never had 2 full weeks off by himself. (We thought about going on vacation, but with the kids in school, it wasn’t going to work) He was certainly productive, taking the time to putter around the house and finally get to the “To Do” list of little projects our 100-year old home needed. He went to the gym, yoga studio, did some road cycling, and walked and picked up the boys from school and all of their extra-curricular activities. It was actually great to have him home, even if for a short time. He was relaxed and seemed to have recharged his batteries. It was really nice to see “Vacation Jeremy” for a couple of weeks. Kind of like the calm before the storm.

Then he dove right back into work, complete with the energy, passion and determination that makes him so great at what he does.

But now this means that there are two entrepreneurs in our family. Jeremy took a major pay cut to join David, and as we all know, businesses take time to grow and make money. When we were talking about his move, we knew that it would be a change for us. How much of a change, however, was a bit hard to predict, until he was actually working again.

Yes, the paycheques are smaller. As you know, he is the sole provider for our family. We knew that we’d have to make some changes when he made this move, but admittedly, I don’t think I realized just how much change.

I have come across a moment of conflict between my personal life and what is becoming my professional life.

What does all this mean for The Second Assistant?

I have to rethink my strategy. I have to take another route in this path of building my company.

I’m still building the business, but I have to modify a few things. I have to start looking for clients a lot sooner than I planned. I’m going to have to start getting out there and working the assignments myself. I’m going to have to penny pinch with my start-up budget (and my home-budget too, for that matter).

I won’t go into the gory details of it all, but yes, I’m a little disappointed at having come to this roadblock. But I AM NOT giving up this project. I’ve set my goal and while I’ve come across this obstacle, I’m determined to think out a way to overcome this.

It’s a good thing my deadline is well over a year from now. I’ve still got some time and I’m not giving up. All entrepreneurs come across issues like this, right?

Stay with me folks. Your support has been wonderful and truthfully, I need it!

Thank you all for being right here with me. Give me some time to think this all through. I’ll update you all once I’ve figured it all out.

Breakfast with a Millennial

One of my favourite parts of the Easter holiday is connecting with extended members of my family that I don’t get to see very often. This year, I was lucky enough to spend time with my baby cousin, Darcy. (She’s actually 25, but to me, 13-years her senior, she’ll always be my “baby” cousin.)

I was pleasantly surprised that she agreed to meet me when I proposed a Saturday morning breakfast at 9am. I was sure she was going to gasp and ask for a later time, as I assume all 20-somethings have big party plans on Friday nights. (Turns out she did have plans but was still able to meet me early the next day. Love that girl.) We went to a local breakfast spot and ordered standard breakfast fare: Eggs Benedict, bacon, toast, pancakes and coffee. My favourite.

I always enjoy my chats with Darcy. Like you’ve probably guessed, she reminds me of how amazing life was at age 25. She’s considered a member of Generation Y, as she was born in 1988, but in my opinion, she doesn’t have the characteristics of the stereotypical Gen Y – you know, the ones we hear about in the office: self-centered, over confident, and over ambitious. (I have yet to meet one of those members of Gen Y, by the way.)

My little cousin is definitely smart: She has a degree in Psychology, a certificate in Holistic Nutrition and is a certified yoga instructor. She’s well-spoken, well-read, has seen a bit of the world and has plans to see more.

What makes her different from the stereotypical Gen Y we hear about is that she is barely on any form of social media and she’s already identified that she doesn’t belong in a corporate environment. She’s a nonconformist with a positive attitude. That’s not to say that she’s not ambitious. She’s just taking her time to figure it all out. Until then, she is teaching yoga classes, conducting workshops for nutrition and thinking out her plan to turn her passion into a business. (It just dawned on me that I might not even know the true definition of a “Millennial.”)

As she was energetically speaking, I realized something.

I was looking in a mirror. Well, more at the “Me” of yesterday. She’s me. Or, I was her. Or, am I her? It dawned on me that Darcy is the free spirit that I have always been, but the difference is, she isn’t as scared as I was to choose to live that life. I grew up thinking I had to get my degree, that I must get a corporate job, the big corner office, to be the power-suit wearing big boss lady and once all of that was accomplished, the personal side of life like marriage, family and life balance would just easily fall into place. That was the path I was taught one should have. And so that was the path I followed.

Note, I have had wonderful life experience and have no regrets.

But Darcy speaks with a sparkle in her eyes. She’s admitted she’s broke, tired of living at home and ready to grow up, but she’s not complaining. She wears colourful scarves, windswept hair, natural makeup and Tom’s shoes. She’s grateful for her supportive family. She’s a mentor to her younger sister and has become very close to her mother, despite the rebellion during her teenage years. I realize that I was awed by the fact that I checked my phone more than she did the entire breakfast we were together. She became someone that I can learn a thing or two from. To me, spending some time with her was like breathing in a new, spring time breath of fresh air.

Maybe I feel this way because she is so much younger than I am, and therefore, I apparently know more about life than she. Could it be that I just liked spending time with someone who lives a life completely different from my own? Or that hanging out with Darcy has reminded me that I’m just approaching age 40 and reminiscing life of my twenties? All very big possibilities.

All I know is that this past weekend, I became inspired by a young lady who falls into that category of “Millennial.” I admire her view of life, her outlook on her future and her eccentric bohemian attitude. She’s thankful for her family and friend’s support for her own journey and doesn’t take anything in life for granted.

We’ve all had moments where we say things like “I should have, I would have, I could have….etc.” I try very hard not to think those thoughts, as I am already living the life I want to live. But after breakfast with Darcy, I sort of feel like I did some time travel and met the “Me” that, perhaps, I was supposed to be. I grew up thinking I had to conform to the “norm” – something she’s pretty much scoffed at. And she seems very happy.

Is either way the right way or wrong way? I don’t know.

But what’s right is to follow dreams and listen to your heart. As corny as it may sound, Darcy has reminded me that it’s completely true.

Darcy – Thanks, kid. I’ll be needing (and appreciating) your company more and more as I go along on this entrepreneurial journey. The past few weeks have been a bit challenging as I build my company, but after spending time with you, I feel like I have reignited the flame and have the energy to get going again.

It’s the beginning of a new week, a new season and for Christians, this past weekend of Easter is a new beginning.

Have you started on your new beginning yet?

Same City of Light, two different experiences.

We had both been transported to “Le même Paris” via a French Gourmet cooking class, but we both experienced it so differently.

You’ll remember my story about the cooking class that brought me back to Paris. I had a great time learning new techniques and connecting with my inner Julia Child. I helped to create (and eat!) a wonderful meal, made new contacts and learned a life lesson – all in one afternoon.

One of my best friends came along with me that day. While she too, was able to re-live her Parisien memories, she had a very different experience than I. (I have to admit, I laughed out loud while reading her post, I almost woke up my entire slumbering family)

Read her story and check out her fantastic travel blog, The Passion Searcher, by clicking here.

Book Comment: “In the Pleasure Groove” by John Taylor

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I know what you’re thinking.

“Really? A book commentary on the biography of a rock star? And an 80s rock star, at that?”

Yes.

This book is everything I expected it to be: a shy boy born to working class parents in Birmingham, England, grows to be music-loving teen, sneaks into concerts and bars when he was under aged, picks up a bass guitar and has a vision. Befriends other like-minded teens/ young men and all are determined to start a band. Start writing songs, playing small venues, eventually making it to the USA. Rock music, screaming women, sex, drug and alcohol addictions, band breaking up, band getting back together, 30 days in rehab.

Three decades later, he’s still making music that has evolved with time, but now, he’s surrounded by amazing technology that has changed the world of entertainment. Although the sound and display might be better, the experience of making music is still the same.

And that’s pretty much it.

Here the thing: I’m a Duranie and John Taylor is my favourite.

Now, if you happen to know anyone who’s female, you’ll know that idolizing boy bands is a rite of passage in a young girl’s life and for a child growing up in the 80s (and 90s) Duran Duran was it for me. Mr. Taylor is a rock star and he certainly has lived (and is still living) a rock star’s life. That’s not to say he didn’t have issues – and he gets downright personal about them in his book. I’ve learned so much about him (and of Simon, Roger, Nick and Andy) and upon completion of his book, the flame was reignited: I’ve determined that I still am and always will be, a fan.

I liked this book. And I like Nigel John Taylor. Again. I’ve started to follow all band members on social media, researched their upcoming tours, signed up for the band’s e-newsletter and even though I am partial to their “old stuff”, I plan to download their latest album.

Well, look at that. Maybe that was the whole point.

I’m 38 years old, and Duran Duran has got me loving (and spending) like a teenybopper again.

I think I just learned a lesson in perfectly-timed marketing, targeted demographics, sales and merchandising.

Okay, let’s say those were the real reasons for me reading this book. As an entrepreneur, this read was part of my business research. 🙂

Duran Duran forever.

An old Instagram photo of me wearing (what is still) my favourite tank top.

An old Instagram photo of me wearing (what is still) my favourite tank top.

The world is really a small town. And its people sure are interesting.

Yesterday I went to Paris for the afternoon.

Okay, not really, but doesn’t that sound divine?

My friend Téa and I went to an enjoyable French cooking class together yesterday. While we were chopping fresh vegetables, the teacher/chef had some French music playing, and I was channelling Julia Child. (Hey, a girl can daydream can’t she? If you really know me, you’ll know that I’m certainly NO chef in real life) It was a wonderful afternoon of delicious smells, nice chatter and learning some of what “Les Français” do in the kitchen. I really felt, if only for a moment, I was cooking in Paris!

It was an intimate setting for a cooking class. There is a lovely lady in Toronto who conducts small classes out of her mid-town condominium. There we six students, the teacher, and her assistant – 8 bodies in total, shuffling around her condo unit, all busy in her makeshift cooking stations, creating some wonderful French dishes. It was a perfect amount of people and space to make the experience intimate, yet not cramped. It was my first time ever doing anything like that, and I think I’ll be doing it again soon!

Aside from the delicious meal we created, (which was the consumable reward at the end of the class), I have to say the most interesting part of the whole experience was the group of people that was brought together for the affair. We had all met each other that day, brought together by our interest in French food, cooking and (my main motivator) eating. While I’m generally not uncomfortable in new situations with strangers, this setting was a little different. We were in someone’s home for the first time, about to prepare a meal with strangers for our own consumption. If I felt a bit uneasy at first, how did the teacher feel? We were complete strangers who now know her address, the buzzer code for the condo and where she keeps her sharpest knives.

We were all there for our own reasons, and I’m glad I had Téa was with me. As the morning moved into the afternoon, we all got to know each other a little better and something amazing happened. All eight of us clicked. Not in a “You’re my new best friend” sort of way, but in a “Wow. You’re interesting, I’m comfortable with being in this situation with you right now” way. There was the chef and her helpful assistant, myself, Téa, an adorable young couple, and a pair of lifelong best buddies who, along with the teacher, really had a comedy show going on. (And this pair happened to come from the same area of Eastern Canada where Téa is from, small world!) There was instant camaraderie and comfort between all of us: the teacher was playfully being “extra nice” to Justin, half of the handsome young couple. She teased Téa about having hidden culinary talents and even tried to set me up with her son! (She didn’t realize I was married and 10 years older than him!) There was lots of energy, giggles, and playful jabs taken at each other. I was amazed at how complete strangers could suddenly be like old college buddies, or like a big family, cooking together in Auntie Sharon’s condo. It was really amazing. And really nice.

So nice, in fact, that one of the lovely ladies in the group (one of the “East Coast best buddies”) felt very comfortable with telling us intimate details about her life. Sure, it may have been risky, but I guess the afternoon bonded all of us somehow. We all offered her differing advice and comments from our various life experiences and backgrounds. It also helped that during these conversations, there was wine being sipped and delicious home cooked French food being eaten.

At the end of it all, it was sort of sad to leave. This little group of 8 people really connected and felt really close after spending 5 hours together in close quarters. Of course, there were some awkward moments during the “good-bye” process. Do we exchange contact information or we were all alone in thinking that we all genuinely connected? Do we hug each other, shake hands, or just say “Take care”? Do we all wait for each other to ride the elevator together or do we just leave on our own in our “pair”? We also had to tip our new friend the Chef/teacher and her assistant (very awkward, in my opinion).

The teacher made it all easy for us by giving us great hugs announcing that this was one of the best groups she’s ever taught. She also hoped we’d do it altogether again sometime. As eccentric and quirky as she was, Chef Sharon was genuine, lovable, and yes, I think I just may go back someday soon.

But that’s not the end of my story. I ended up riding the elevator with the pair of lifelong buddies, one of whom was the woman who did a lot of sharing. We chatted briefly and turns out she works as an HR Manager. Having once held that role myself, I quickly moved into “work mode”, we were “talking shop” a bit and I ended up asking her for her business card, which, I thought, was a good way to end the day. She gave me her card and I did the polite and customary reading of it. (Etiquette reading, remember?)

It turns out this woman is the HR Manager for the parent company of the workplace my husband had just resigned from. What an unbelievable coincidence! I had to make a quick decision of whether to tell her or not – the company is small and while I have never met her, she and my husband may know each other. I decided, since she shared information, I may as well too, not really putting too much thought into how she should react. When I told her, I realized it may have been a mistake. She very briefly had a look of shock, then surprise, then back to her bubbly self (I think). We said our good-byes and I said I would keep in touch (which I really do plan on doing).

On the subway ride home I wondered if she was regretting the reveal of some of the details of her life. I was worried that my new friend would be upset all weekend and uncomfortable going into work on Monday, for fear that people may know too much about the HR Manager. Or maybe not. I truly hope she thinks that I take my Human Resources commitment of confidentiality seriously and won’t go home and tell my husband details about her life. I wish I could somehow tell her this, but my thought right now is to just to send her a “Nice meeting you” email, not really mentioning the one degree of separation we just discovered we had. I hope she’s not fretting.

The lesson? It’s obvious, right?

The world is small and its inhabitants, amazing. I love how we can sometimes be reminded at how different we all really are from each other….but in reality, we are somehow the same and somehow, connected. Put a few strangers in a room for half a day, they can come out as best friends.

You really never do know who you will meet. Or who you will find you are connected to.

So we may as well be kind to one another. Always.

Have a great week, everyone.

Me masquerading as Julia Child.

Me masquerading as Julia Child.

Téa working on "Les Champignons Farcis" (Stuffed Mushrooms)

Téa working on “Les Champignons Farcis” (Stuffed Mushrooms)

Plating time!

Plating time!

Bon Appétit! Poisson à Grenoble, trois riz avec lentilles vertes, champignons farcis. (Not shown : Soupe au Pistou (appetizer) the wonderful dessert : Clafoutis aux fruits and a glass of Pinot Noir) Oh, là là!

Bon Appétit! Poisson à Grenoble, trois riz avec lentilles vertes, champignons farcis. (Not shown : Soupe au Pistou (appetizer) the wonderful dessert : Clafoutis aux fruits and a glass of Pinot Noir) Oh, là là!

A student again

Back in September 1998, just a few months after getting my BA, I was lucky enough to find an entry-level office role at a very cool technology firm in downtown Toronto. While it was a great job for a fresh graduate and fantastic work experience, I knew that it wasn’t a role that I wanted for a long period of time. I wanted to work in that company’s Human Resources department. So I decided to enroll in a local college that had a reputable HR program where I could work full-time and go to school part-time. After 2 years of studying and working, (and not having much of a social life) I was lucky enough to be awarded a Certificate in Human Resources.

During the course of the program, I remember enjoying all of the courses: Organizational Effectiveness, Recruitment and Selection, Training & Development…as someone who had finally discovered her life path, I wanted to learn it all. I remember devouring the text books at night and happily typing my papers, even if all of my friends were enjoying their summers dining on restaurant patios or later in the year, heading to the ski hills for a little fun in the snow. It was a busy time in my life, but the paper certificate I was awarded in the end was worth it. And it looked pretty good on my resume.

There was one course, however, that I can say I suffered through.

The topic was Benefits and Compensation. Of course, these are two pretty important factors to candidates when they consider taking new jobs. They are so important that HR students must take an entire course learning about how a company analyzes roles, comes up with their compensation, how it’s calculated and how it’s equitable in the market. Also involved in this course are what benefits are available to employees, which are required by the law, which are extra perks, how it is all distributed to the employees, payroll, taxes…..Sound like fun?

If you like number crunching, then yes, it’s a fun course. For someone who requires a calculator for almost everything involving numbers, it was a course that was pretty challenging.

And so now, as I start my own company, what is my current obstacle?

You got it.

I’m trying to formulate a grid that will be used by my Accounting department (also known as my friend Sam) to calculate the compensation for candidates who’ll be working on assignment. I have to take into consideration a multitude of things: insurance, required coverage, benefits, taxes, client fees, accounting fees, commissions….

This is a huge job, as I’ll have to formally write up job descriptions, design a salary scale, and build in a fee and commission structure. I find myself searching in the archives of both my brain and my old college notes (packed in my parent’s basement) to find anything that can help me. Of course, most of the things I’ve found are outdated! I’ve been to the local library and used book store to see what I can find. I’ve been scouring the internet on any and all articles regarding the topic.

The good thing is, I still have some contacts in my HR world of yesteryear – I’ve been making a lot of phone calls and have been directed to places where I can get the information I need. I’ve been taking notes, compiling research, and been trying to jog my memory on how to use Microsoft Excel. (I’m think I need an online refresher course!) I already know that this is going to take a lot of my time and energy, both of which are precious. I anticipate this part to take weeks (or maybe even months) for me to finish. It’s a good thing I’ve given myself plenty of time until my “deadline.”

Despite the huge challenges of this part of my project, I actually feel excited about it all. When I sit down at my desk and see my project plans slowly falling into place, I feel energized. When I glance at the pile of books and articles I borrowed from the library, I sure feel like a student again, and I then remember just how much fun I had learning all of the material the first time around. I feel as though my brain has been on an extra long vacation and I’m clearing out some cobwebs, blowing off a bit of dust and gearing it up for full usage again. (What? I don’t know. A bit dramatic, I know)

By the way, I never did end up working in that company’s HR department, but one of the folks who did work there are on my contact list. (Always keep your Rolodex handy, right?)

Wish me luck as I “hit the books” again. It’ll be a while before I move on to the next level, but hey, I’m working on it.

Have any tips for me as I take this on? Let me know! Any and all suggestions are welcomed.

Thanks in advance!

Image Source: Free Digital Photos.net

Image Source: Free Digital Photos.net